Last Night in Kirkwall
Jan. 31st, 2012 10:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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faemused[Hawke and Bethany backstory, canon for Entanglement]
And then it was over. Or beginning, depending on your point of view. As far as Hawke was concerned, it was over. It wasn't a relief, just a cold, dim thing at the back of her chest, buried under layers of numbness and exhaustion. The night had thrown too many blows at her for anything else to surface, and the physical blows had been the least of them. Though there'd been plenty of those. How many times had Bethany and Anders had to heal her? It was a wonder either of them had any mana left, if they did.
Anders.
Hawke looked around. He was behind her, still at the edge of the Gallows Courtyard, hesitating. Their eyes met for one long, pained moment, and if there was a question in his gaze she couldn't answer it. Her attention was distracted by Aveline stepping forward, clearly intending to make an arrest, and Hawke thrust out an arm, stopping her, transferring her gaze to the guard-captain. There was a silent argument, which Hawke won; by the time she looked back, Anders was gone.
She didn't follow.
They all gradually split up after that. Isabela told Hawke that the invitation to join her on the ship she'd taken from Castillion's ship still stood, if she showed up by daybreak. Fenris said he needed some time to travel alone. Aveline went to find Donnic. And so on, some with promises to find her later, some not. Until it was just her and Teo.
And Bethany.
"We should go home," Hawke said to her sister. "See what's left. Make sure Bodahn and Sandal and Orana are all right. And Gamlen." She couldn't even muster up a joke about Gamlen, that's how tired she was.
And then it was over. Or beginning, depending on your point of view. As far as Hawke was concerned, it was over. It wasn't a relief, just a cold, dim thing at the back of her chest, buried under layers of numbness and exhaustion. The night had thrown too many blows at her for anything else to surface, and the physical blows had been the least of them. Though there'd been plenty of those. How many times had Bethany and Anders had to heal her? It was a wonder either of them had any mana left, if they did.
Anders.
Hawke looked around. He was behind her, still at the edge of the Gallows Courtyard, hesitating. Their eyes met for one long, pained moment, and if there was a question in his gaze she couldn't answer it. Her attention was distracted by Aveline stepping forward, clearly intending to make an arrest, and Hawke thrust out an arm, stopping her, transferring her gaze to the guard-captain. There was a silent argument, which Hawke won; by the time she looked back, Anders was gone.
She didn't follow.
They all gradually split up after that. Isabela told Hawke that the invitation to join her on the ship she'd taken from Castillion's ship still stood, if she showed up by daybreak. Fenris said he needed some time to travel alone. Aveline went to find Donnic. And so on, some with promises to find her later, some not. Until it was just her and Teo.
And Bethany.
"We should go home," Hawke said to her sister. "See what's left. Make sure Bodahn and Sandal and Orana are all right. And Gamlen." She couldn't even muster up a joke about Gamlen, that's how tired she was.
no subject
Date: 2012-02-03 06:24 pm (UTC)Hawke was, fortunately, facing away from her sister at that point, so the spasm that crossed her face went unnoticed. Her hands didn't falter with what they were doing; deliberately haphazard smears of soot on her face, which (combined with a hood) should render her unrecognizable combined with a cloak. Enough to get her through the city, at least, assuming she shut her ears to any more cries for help. It was almost a pity she didn't favor the sorts of helms that covered one's face, but Hawke had always depended too much on speed for that and preferred an open view. She needed to see as much as she could as quickly as she could; anything that obstructed the view wasn't welcome on her head.
Her friends would've made conversation about that thought, if they heard it. Each in their own style. Isabela would've turned it into an innuendo, Varric a friendly insult on her face. Fenris and Aveline would've compared armor preferences. Sebastian would've said something gentlemanly and polite, Merrill something light-hearted and unintentionally hilarious. Anders would've offered up a compliment of some sort, some prelude to banter, or to a kiss.
Traveling without any of them--all of them--was inconceivable now. And yet.
"I know I am," Hawke said. There was no point in hiding her intentions, clearly. Not from Bethany. She stood up, stared down at the remains of the fire. "And in my family. But I won't be going with any of them. And I can't stay here." She reached out a hand and rested it on the fireplace. "I'm tired, Bethany. I can't tell you how tired I am of trying to live up to everyone's expectations of me. I can't do it anymore. Not even for them."
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Date: 2012-02-03 07:59 pm (UTC)But in the back of her mind, Bethany knew there just wasn't time.
Walking forward, she angled herself in front of her sister's line of vision. "Someday, and I hope it's soon for your sake, you'll see that what we really expect of you. But know now I love you, sister. And I will find you."
She gave her a quick, fierce hug before pulling her own cloak back on and leaving as quickly as she could. If she made good time she could be to the Warden's outpost by nightfall and heading to Ferelden before the next dawn.
There would be time for rest later. A Warden constitution was a blessing, and she worried about her sister going so alone. Maker watch her until they met again.
And they would, undoubtedly. He wasn't done with either of them yet.