faemused | Open To Anyone For Anything RP Post

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From:

takesnoshit

She chuckles, bowing her head in acknowledgement and agreement at this sally with a smile on her face.

The smile fades as she considers the question of fleeting things, and vanishes as he pronounces his Doom. She sits upright, frowning. "That is no small curse. Can there be no escape from it, no reparations made?"

From:

grumpycatanthir

"If they will not even hear our prayers, what reparation can be made?" He points out.

"We will fight it until the end, but the end is already foretold. It might be in five years, or ten, or a hundred, but there is no way this war will end well. In truth, there was no way it could."

They are after all, fighting a Vala.

From:

takesnoshit

"I see." She considers all this, looking out into the dark. "I will think on it," she says finally. "How is your stew?"

From:

grumpycatanthir

He blinks at her, nonplussed, and then looks down.

"It is fine." He says and automatically takes another mouthful.

From:

takesnoshit

"Good." She takes another few bites of her own, looking idly up at the night sky. That is apparently all the questions she had for now.

From:

grumpycatanthir

He stares at her, and then at his stew, and goes back to eating it (it is, after all, good stew, and it would be a sad thing to waste).

"Is... that all you wanted to know?" He says hesitantly, after a while.

From:

takesnoshit

Haleth considers this--does appear to actually be considering it. "It is all I would know for now, I think," she says after a moment. "No doubt I will have more questions later, but you have given me much to consider." Her glance at him is sudden and direct. "Was there anything you would know of me, then?"

Honestly she'd been assuming that if there was anything he was wondering, he would simply ask, as she does. But he seems disconcerted.

From:

grumpycatanthir

He pauses, considering.

(This is a crossroads, he knows. He could say no, and nothing will happen, and Haleth will be safe. But. He is a son of Feanor. Recklessness is in the blood)

"I would know only one thing." He says slowly. "If there was no Doom between us... no duty. What ... would your answer be, should I bring suit."

From:

takesnoshit

It is a moot question, for the situation he describes is not as things are, and shall not be. She should refuse to answer it on those grounds. Such hypothetical musings are pointless.

But she thinks on it, taking stock of her own inclinations for several minutes, staring into the fire. That alone, if he but knew it, is evidence of her heart.

"Had we only ourselves to consider," she says finally, "I would be...strongly inclined towards it, except in that I am still mortal and you are not. I cannot believe that liaisons between two such as we would be wise. And I very much dislike the idea of you spending Ages alone and grieving after my inevitable death, whenever that might come, without even the freedom to seek for a new partner."

She grimaces a little, her glance flitting to him and then back. "It is an irony. If a more temporary partnership were possible, I would have fewer qualms, even if such a liaison were less than I wanted. But I do not hunt for sport, and I would not leave a creature bound in a cage with no prospect of freedom. I have no wish to ensnare you."

Edited Date: 2019-01-18 04:03 pm (UTC)

From:

grumpycatanthir

"I honestly do not care that you are mortal." Caranthir says bluntly.

"But for duty and doom, I would court you formally, and even now, if you wished it. Besides. I doubt I will live that long, anyway."

He shrugs. "We are fighting a Vala, Haleth. We are going to lose, eventually."

From:

takesnoshit

Haleth raises an eyebrow. "You are already so certain? After a few mere weeks?"

From:

grumpycatanthir

He meets her eyes and nods.

"I am." He says quietly, and waits.

From:

takesnoshit

"Why?"

Her gaze is steady, unblinking.

Edited Date: 2019-01-20 10:50 pm (UTC)

From:

grumpycatanthir

He takes his time to answer her truthfully, because she deserves that.

"Because I thought when I met you that you were strong, and fierce, and loved your people. Because I find you fair, and your mind and mine work alike, that we might understand each other well. Because I find competence and practicality, as it turns out, extremely attractive when paired with a strong spirit and loyalty to one's people."

From:

takesnoshit

She nods again, slowly. "Those are good reasons." Not likely to change, or to be mistaken. And matching her own opinions of him. It occurs to her that they are both unique in some ways, and that their uniqueness matches. They are both leaders to their people; that creates a bond, but also a distance, between leader and those led. For that reason as well as their shared inclinations of how to approach difficulties, they can understand each other in a way that most others will not. They are more equal than she first imagined, that day (it seems long ago, now) when he rode to her people's rescue.

But although Caranthir has called himself precipitous, Haleth is not. And moreover..."But duty does still lie between us, yours to your people and mine to mine. While I do not fear your Doom for myself, I can not risk it entangling the Haladin in its clutches." She shakes her head slowly. "I can not see a future in this. Perhaps years from now when my nephew is old enough to lead in my place, if we both still live and feel as we now do. But I cannot wed you, and you have said you cannot do less. Therefore this conversation should end here, and the subject not be brought up again."

From:

grumpycatanthir

He is quiet, and cannot hide the hurt that flashes briefly across his face before he folds it away.

"Your reasoning is sound." He says quietly. "I... understand, little though I like it. But Haleth, you also underestimate my stubborness. Your duties, at the moment, as you say rightly, weigh too heavy. But I can wait - I am quite willing to do so. And... I am... willing to wed you by my people's laws, but not by yours, if that will make things... easier."

Of course, if she has to marry someone else, that's a different story, but he doesn't think she's mentioned anything like that.

From:

takesnoshit

Haleth sees the hurt in his face, and is sorry to have pained him; for all that she is sure of the wisdom of her words, her own regret too is there in her eyes. There is a further flash of emotion when he says he is willing to wait--sweet, tempting, dangerous thought.

But her face suddenly hardens, and she looks away. "I will never marry." The words are rough, the determination in them adamantine. It is clear this is no sudden decision, but something long-standing. "Haldan will be my heir, for it is most unlikely I will bear children. But even if that were not so, I will not marry."

There is a moment of silence, in which she breathes a little harder than seems warranted, staring into the fire and not seeing it. Her return to herself is almost as abrupt as her sudden distraction; she closes her eyes, then shakes her head, glancing at Caranthir. "...my apologies. That harshness was not intended for you."

From:

grumpycatanthir

He bites back the instinctively lash of hurt, the need to say cruel words, tamping down his temper to consider what he saw in her face, instead.

"Forgiven. Will you tell me why?"

From:

takesnoshit

She shrugs a little. "Any man I married would have, or at least might seek, the leadership of the Haladin. And that I will not give."

For one of the rare times in her life, she hesitates, then continues more slowly. "That is not the whole story nor the only reason. Nor is it a thing that would apply to you, an irony I could never have foreseen when first I made my choice, years ago. But the rest of the story should wait for another night, I think. We have already given each other much to think on."

From:

grumpycatanthir

"That first you will never have to worry about with me." Caranthir feels the need to point out.

He pauses. "Very well. I will not push you for more answers, at this time. But if you ever wish to speak, I will listen." He hesitates briefly, and then bows to her, a polite tip of the head.

"But for tonight I will leave you to your rest, for I have caused much disruption already, I see."

And he needs to lick his own wounds a little, a silly as that is.

From:

takesnoshit

"You have caused great disruption," Haleth says quietly. "But I would not wish it undone."

For she has been changed by knowing him; already she knows this. She can be content and wholly herself in the life she will lead, must lead, in the role her people need her to fulfill.

But even if they part this instant, with no more said or done, a part of her will always look north and think on Caranthir. She cannot regret that. It is too integral a part of her now, it would be like regretting her own left arm.

Haleth sighs and rubs her forehead. "I must think. Come and speak with me again tomorrow, as we walk or in the evening when we make camp. If you wish it." They are traveling at a walking pace, for the most part, for there are not carts enough for all the Haladin, and only the Eldar have horses. The slowest, the youngest or the still injured, they are all carried; those who are hale, including Haleth herself, walk.

From:

grumpycatanthir

That is helpful to know, and something of the stiffness of his shoulders eases.

"I will see you tomorrow then." he says and slips out, to nurse his wounds where they cannot hurt anyone. He'll feel better, and be less likely to say anything stupid tomorrow.

And he does come to see her the next day, coming to walk beside her quietly.

From:

takesnoshit

Haleth walks alone, a little apart from the bulk of the group. When a dark shadow joins her she looks up, and once again that brief smile crosses her face. There is a warmth in it most of her people would be surprised to see. She is not even aware she does it.

They walk in silence for a minute or two more before she speaks. "My father was not born Chief," she says, not bothering with small talk first. Of course they are picking up from their conversation of last night. What need for any unnecessary preliminaries? "Our previous Chief had been brave, but foolish; he died fighting a bear when I was but a babe. My father was elected, and after he had ruled more wisely for many years, it was decided that the Haladin would henceforce have their leaders from his lineage, instead of choosing them anew. My twin brother Haldar was the heir, for he was male, and the older by ten minutes besides."

Her mouth twists with pain at the mention of that familiar argument, which he had teasingly held over her more than once. Her twin's loss is so great a grief to Haleth that she does not speak of it. Even to Caranthir she has not said a word about Haldar as of yet. Caranthir has two brothers who are twins; perhaps he will understand.

That is not germane to the point, however, and she moves quickly on, looking up at the sky. The sun falls warm on her face, and she closes her eyes for a moment, drinking it in. "A year later a young man of the village paid court to me. I was not indifferent, for he was comely and intelligent and well-spoken. I was fifteen, and curious."

She does not look at Caranthir as she says it, but there is a moment's silence that is faintly suggestive. She has already told him that courting is not the same for Men as he has said it is for the Firstborn. She and her suitor did not do so very much at the time, for all that she dislikes the memories now, but it was clearly more than any Eldar would lightly undertake. If that changes Caranthir's wishes, it is better that he know now rather than later.

From:

grumpycatanthir

(ooc: lol fair. I am trying the email trick...)

He comes to walk beside her and keeps his silence, allowing her to decide when and how she will reopen the conversation. He's not surprised that she jumps straight into it - that has been her way for as long as he's known her, and he appreciates it. He stays silent for the most part, allowing her to tell her story, but in the silence after that statement, he can feel his temper rousing.

He knows, she has told him, how courting is not the same. The Haladin are his first experience with humans proper, but he has read the missives from Finrod, and Fingon, and he can hazard guesses.

"Did he hurt you."

He doesn't bother to hide the way his fists clench in fury at the thought, although he does try not to outright snarl. It isn't Haleth he's angry at, after all.

From:

takesnoshit

It's the first hint of Caranthir's temper Haleth has seen. She raises an eyebrow a little, but otherwise doesn't react. "Not then, no. It was...interesting." Not unpleasant, exactly, but messy and strange. She hadn't gotten much satisfaction out of it all at the time. Whether that was a fault on her part or her lover's she has never known for sure, but she cares little either way, for truthfully that part was the least of the matter.

Haleth shrugs a little again. "No, the pain was in realizing my own foolishness, for of course I was a fool. I learned before too many weeks had passed that his goal was to win his own way to the Chieftainship through me. Once I realized he held the knowledge against me, hoping to humiliate me and thus use his leverage that way. He failed, of course; I will not be used, as I made most clear."

She hesitates very briefly before continuing, some swift shadow crossing her face, but plunges on. "He paid dearly for all his presumptions. I have had little interest in such matters since then. Not because I cared for him, for even at the time I was more moved by curiosity and a sense of being flattered than by any real affection, though it shames me some to admit it. But I learned valuable lessons from the experience. A man may wed where he wills, but a woman will always risk becoming subservient, or being expected to be subservient. So I would not marry, for I will let none rule me, in truth or even only in seeming. And there has been no need for me to marry, nor any temptation, for there have been none who moved me to reconsider. But you--"

Haleth breaks off mid-sentence, stops, looks up at him with her focused, measuring gaze. "You are nothing I could have foreseen. You do not court with sweet promises but with plain speech. You would not seek to take the Haladin's leadership from me, for you have your own duties to tend; you understand my priorities and do not challenge them. You have never treated me as less than an equal, though you could and even I might not gainsay you. You are intelligent and generous and passionate, and you make beautiful things, and I have never met anyone like you. You have disrupted my mind, and I dislike it, for before my path was clear to me and my duty unclouded." She grimaces a little. "I spoke truth yesterday, when I said I did not wish it undone. But things would be much simpler if it were."