faemused | Open To Anyone For Anything RP Post 2

He sucks in a sharp breath, and the hand in hers trembles.

"It does." He says hoarsely.

She does not look up at his face. That measure of privacy, at least, he has. And besides, she hardly needs to; she can feel how his fingers tremble in hers. "Good." It is barely a whisper.

There is another pause before, with a sigh, she releases his hand and stands, walking back to her previous seat. "Canien intends to ride to see you whether you wished it or no, in truth," she says, and her voice is almost steady. Almost. "But agreed to let me meet with you first and give warning." She looks at him very briefly, and back again almost at once. "It is a strange thing to meet with one who knows you so well while you know them not at all. But I have found much in Canien to make me proud, and think you will also."

He makes a sound as she pulls away, almost of pain, fingers reaching for her before he stops himself.

"............Are you sure it is safe?"

She looks faintly conflicted at that sound, and her hand closes in on itself. "I am sure she will do it whether it is safe or no, for she has all your stubborness and mine both," she says. "But I also think I have rarely met anyone so well able to care for herself. You need not fear for her safety."

He manages a smile, at that.

"I would expect no less, for any child born of you and I."

But it hurts, to think of what might have been, what they might have had, even if only for a season.

His smile is pained and tremulous. Haleth looks more conflicted yet. "I may have erred, in coming here," she says, meeting his eyes. "It was not my intention to wound you further."

"No!" He shakes his head.

"I... I needed to know this. To know, that somehow, some light remains. I will go easier to my own doom, this way."

Haleth does not look convinced, and her eyes are grave. She hesitates again, about to say something, then stops.

"Meet with our daughter," she says after a moment. "I think you will find much that shines, within her."

He runs a hand down his face and sighs again before nodding, trying to pull himself together again.

"If you think it safe, I will. Is she here?"

Haleth shakes her head slowly. "No. I thought--it seemed to me better if we met alone."

So she could apologize. A decision she now greatly doubts the wisdom of. Always she seems to misjudge, with Caranthir.

Haleth rubs her forehead and sighs quietly. "Are you concerned she would be in danger from the Enemy, or from being near you?"

He breathes deep and nods.

"Both. But more the second. Haleth... I know I seem quite normal to you, but these... times are getting shorter and shorter, and my temper ever more uncertain. I will meet her, if you think I should. But I will not stay. And she should stay with you."

"I have never feared your anger." The words are soft but sure. Caranthir would tear himself into pieces with his own hands before he would hurt someone he loved, Oath or no Oath. Haleth has always known it. And beyond that, what is there to fear? "I am certain she does not either. But Canien will do as she wills. If she chooses to stay with you, I think you will have little luck dissuading her."

Her head hurts. Her heart hurts. Haleth closes her eyes again. "But I will tell her. She should only be a few days behind me, if that; she travels more quickly than I. Would you rather meet her with me present, or would you prefer I go?"

Finally, a wry smile. "You are one of the few."

He shakes his head.

"Stay. If this is the last time, let it be a good time."

Haleth laughs, though there is little humor in it. "Do you count this a good meeting?"

"You're here." He manages a smile. "And you've brought me news of a daughter I never thought was possible. Considering the alternatives, certainly it's a better meeting than I might have hoped for."

Haleth looks at him measuringly for a long time.

"I am surprised," she says finally, "that you consider my being here a good thing, given the various ways in which I have hurt you. Both intentionally and otherwise."

She did her best to turn his love for her into hate, last time they met, using all his deepest fears and weaknesses to wound him; it was the only thing she could think of that might free him from loving her. She is a little surprised he has met with her at all, given that.

He shrugs, awkwardly.

"Yeah. Well. I was very angry. But that's... I'm almost always angry. You... said nothing untrue. And... I missed you."

Absently her hand rises to her collar, rubbing lightly at the embroidery there. Sharp eyes would catch that the cloth is worn slightly more thin there than on the rest of the embroidered collar and cuffs of her shirt, as though this is a gesture she does often. "I spoke truth, but not all the truth," Haleth says in her quiet voice, looking back at the fire. "And I have missed you, also. Every day."

He notes the action, and a small part of him is extremely pleased, that she both wears his things, and takes comfort in it.

"I forgive you." He murmurs softly. "I did mention my family have a .... problem in letting go."

For the first time Haleth smiles at him, and if it is small and a little rueful, still it is warm and real. "You did."

He shrugs awkwardly at her, cheeks flushed.

"Yes. Well. She's got to be a stubborn one, our daughter. Considering. Who her parents are."

Her smile grows a little more fond as he blushes. He hates his tendency to go red-faced, she knows, but she has ever found it endearing. "She is, as stubborn as either you or I have ever been. But also intelligent, resourceful, skilled..."

Her gaze goes distant, and her expression softens to something even Caranthir will never have seen, save perhaps a little when she has looked on her nephew Haldan: deep pride and deeper love. "I have long been resigned to never having children of my own. But had I designed one, she would meet my wishes in every way. She has all the best qualities of us both, but is free in a way neither of us has ever been."

"That, she takes from you, I imagine." He says softly, watching her wistfulness and pride.

"I am glad. We are both of us bound to our roads, although yours, I think, has a better end than mine. But she is free, and that is good, for something of us will survive."

Her attention returns to the here and now, though the wistfulness remains on her face. "I have not asked her of either of our endings, though I know she has seen both. Some things should not be known. But yes, it is a great comfort to me to know that after everything, she will remain, and carry us with her. And that she is happy."

Caranthir wonders absently, how much time he has. Will he be able to say goodbye to Haleth, before the Oath or Doom claim him? (He bets on the Oath, personally)

"It is to me as well." He agrees. "Hah! Old Namo was wrong then. Not everything will come to evil ends, it seems."

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yes I'm prioritizing this one above all other threads so what

XD XD XD

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