Crowley says in the embrace, more grateful for it than he'll ever be able to explain. Does Aziraphale know how astonishing it is, how impossible, to be able to say he's sorry and then be comforted? Forgiven?
Truthfully, he hopes not.
"Yeah, I know." It took a long, long time to move past that F word. But that's not the point. "It's just...think it's the idea that I might've, might've driven you away, and then that while I was inconsolable and angry and fucked up, you could just..." He laughs, and it's a little bitter. "Gavotte your way into a gentleman's club like the angel you are, and found someone else to, to care about, to be cared about. While I was asleep and stubborn and refusing to admit how much you meant. To me." He wraps his arms around Aziraphale and squeezes. "'m glad you had...friends, then. I am. Just, hate that at the time, you maybe didn't know I was still one of them. To say nothing of all, all this."
All this love, he means. He knows now that it was there back then, intrinsically a part of him, though at the time he hadn't realized at all. Willful blindness.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2020-04-01 12:59 pm (UTC)Truthfully, he hopes not.
"Yeah, I know." It took a long, long time to move past that F word. But that's not the point. "It's just...think it's the idea that I might've, might've driven you away, and then that while I was inconsolable and angry and fucked up, you could just..." He laughs, and it's a little bitter. "Gavotte your way into a gentleman's club like the angel you are, and found someone else to, to care about, to be cared about. While I was asleep and stubborn and refusing to admit how much you meant. To me." He wraps his arms around Aziraphale and squeezes. "'m glad you had...friends, then. I am. Just, hate that at the time, you maybe didn't know I was still one of them. To say nothing of all, all this."
All this love, he means. He knows now that it was there back then, intrinsically a part of him, though at the time he hadn't realized at all. Willful blindness.