"There is a thing you should know," she says as they fall into step. It is another thing that has become automatic for them, him shortening his long strides, her walking a little more quickly than her usual wont.
She walks in silence next to him for a few moments before continuing, a thing unusual for Haleth. There is a faint frown between her eyes, and she does not look at him as she usually does. Signs that she does not think he will at all like what she has to say.
She stops abruptly and looks up at him. "I told you before of a thing in my youth, where I took a lover and it ended badly. I did not tell you how badly. And I would not tell you, except that a part of those events is relevant to this." 'This' being the ongoing, largely unspoken courtship between them, of course. She does not thinks she need clarify, for it is much on her mind--and even more on his, she would wager.
Haleth turns as abruptly and begins walking again, and quickly, her eyes fixed ahead. "He had been courting me for some weeks before I overheard a conversation he had with a friend, in which they jested of what he would do with the Chieftainship once he had it, and spoke ill of me save as a means to getting it. I revealed myself, and you may imagine how I spoke to them."
Harshly, for she can be harsh, brutal in her honesty. Once someone has earned her condemnation, she is not shy of making it clear.
She shrugs. "I did not speak publically of his words or intentions, for there was no need; it was enough that all relations between us were so abruptly ended, and the rest of the tribe hardly needed further knowledge to guess some of what had occurred. I did not mourn, save for my own foolishness; he was not what I had thought him, so there was nothing to grieve but an illusion. But he--he was shamed and lessened in the eyes of our people, and enraged by it, and fury and wounded pride ate at him."
Haleth is silent another moment, then takes a deep breath, her steps slowing. "This part I have never discussed, save with my brother and father at the time. Though no doubt it is guessed at by my people and has been spoken of, though not to my face." She is delaying, a thing Haleth rarely does. Not for her own sake, but for his. This memory no longer has power to hurt her even in pride, but it will not be so for Caranthir.
Another breath. Her face is blank and calm, and she looks up at the sky, clear and lit by moonlight. "He intercepted me while I was checking traps, some weeks later, and tried to talk his way into my good graces again. I would not hear him, and when he realized I would not be swayed, he attempted to force me. I would claim him as husband quickly enough, he said, when I was heavy with his child." Haleth gives Caranthir no chance to interrupt, but continues. "We fought. He did not succeed in his intentions, and I killed him. But he injured me first, with his dagger."
Her hand briefly rests low on her belly. Another breath. "My brother found us, him dead and me wounded, and aided me back to the camp. I was some time in healing, and decided I would not marry, would never allow any to believe they might gain any power over me thus. So I told all afterwards, and if they thought it was bitterness or heartsickness, I let them think so. With my brother as heir, and then eventually with a strong child of his own, it hardly mattered that I intended to remain unwed. My father's line would continue without me."
She stops again, looking down at her hand. "But in truth...in truth it was not wholly a choice. Because of--of where and how I was wounded--I cannot bear children." Those last words come out in a rush. "I told you I did not intend to have them, but the truth is I cannot. We have not discussed children and I do not know if you wish them. But I thought it something you had a right to know, given...what you wish from me. I do not expect it changes your wishes, from all I know of you, but...I thought you should know, first."
It is the first time Caranthir will have ever heard Haleth sounding awkward or uncertain.
I wanted to linger more on the bloody retribution part, which he would've liked, but it got long.
She walks in silence next to him for a few moments before continuing, a thing unusual for Haleth. There is a faint frown between her eyes, and she does not look at him as she usually does. Signs that she does not think he will at all like what she has to say.
She stops abruptly and looks up at him. "I told you before of a thing in my youth, where I took a lover and it ended badly. I did not tell you how badly. And I would not tell you, except that a part of those events is relevant to this." 'This' being the ongoing, largely unspoken courtship between them, of course. She does not thinks she need clarify, for it is much on her mind--and even more on his, she would wager.
Haleth turns as abruptly and begins walking again, and quickly, her eyes fixed ahead. "He had been courting me for some weeks before I overheard a conversation he had with a friend, in which they jested of what he would do with the Chieftainship once he had it, and spoke ill of me save as a means to getting it. I revealed myself, and you may imagine how I spoke to them."
Harshly, for she can be harsh, brutal in her honesty. Once someone has earned her condemnation, she is not shy of making it clear.
She shrugs. "I did not speak publically of his words or intentions, for there was no need; it was enough that all relations between us were so abruptly ended, and the rest of the tribe hardly needed further knowledge to guess some of what had occurred. I did not mourn, save for my own foolishness; he was not what I had thought him, so there was nothing to grieve but an illusion. But he--he was shamed and lessened in the eyes of our people, and enraged by it, and fury and wounded pride ate at him."
Haleth is silent another moment, then takes a deep breath, her steps slowing. "This part I have never discussed, save with my brother and father at the time. Though no doubt it is guessed at by my people and has been spoken of, though not to my face." She is delaying, a thing Haleth rarely does. Not for her own sake, but for his. This memory no longer has power to hurt her even in pride, but it will not be so for Caranthir.
Another breath. Her face is blank and calm, and she looks up at the sky, clear and lit by moonlight. "He intercepted me while I was checking traps, some weeks later, and tried to talk his way into my good graces again. I would not hear him, and when he realized I would not be swayed, he attempted to force me. I would claim him as husband quickly enough, he said, when I was heavy with his child." Haleth gives Caranthir no chance to interrupt, but continues. "We fought. He did not succeed in his intentions, and I killed him. But he injured me first, with his dagger."
Her hand briefly rests low on her belly. Another breath. "My brother found us, him dead and me wounded, and aided me back to the camp. I was some time in healing, and decided I would not marry, would never allow any to believe they might gain any power over me thus. So I told all afterwards, and if they thought it was bitterness or heartsickness, I let them think so. With my brother as heir, and then eventually with a strong child of his own, it hardly mattered that I intended to remain unwed. My father's line would continue without me."
She stops again, looking down at her hand. "But in truth...in truth it was not wholly a choice. Because of--of where and how I was wounded--I cannot bear children." Those last words come out in a rush. "I told you I did not intend to have them, but the truth is I cannot. We have not discussed children and I do not know if you wish them. But I thought it something you had a right to know, given...what you wish from me. I do not expect it changes your wishes, from all I know of you, but...I thought you should know, first."
It is the first time Caranthir will have ever heard Haleth sounding awkward or uncertain.