It's the first hint of Caranthir's temper Haleth has seen. She raises an eyebrow a little, but otherwise doesn't react. "Not then, no. It was...interesting." Not unpleasant, exactly, but messy and strange. She hadn't gotten much satisfaction out of it all at the time. Whether that was a fault on her part or her lover's she has never known for sure, but she cares little either way, for truthfully that part was the least of the matter.
Haleth shrugs a little again. "No, the pain was in realizing my own foolishness, for of course I was a fool. I learned before too many weeks had passed that his goal was to win his own way to the Chieftainship through me. Once I realized he held the knowledge against me, hoping to humiliate me and thus use his leverage that way. He failed, of course; I will not be used, as I made most clear."
She hesitates very briefly before continuing, some swift shadow crossing her face, but plunges on. "He paid dearly for all his presumptions. I have had little interest in such matters since then. Not because I cared for him, for even at the time I was more moved by curiosity and a sense of being flattered than by any real affection, though it shames me some to admit it. But I learned valuable lessons from the experience. A man may wed where he wills, but a woman will always risk becoming subservient, or being expected to be subservient. So I would not marry, for I will let none rule me, in truth or even only in seeming. And there has been no need for me to marry, nor any temptation, for there have been none who moved me to reconsider. But you--"
Haleth breaks off mid-sentence, stops, looks up at him with her focused, measuring gaze. "You are nothing I could have foreseen. You do not court with sweet promises but with plain speech. You would not seek to take the Haladin's leadership from me, for you have your own duties to tend; you understand my priorities and do not challenge them. You have never treated me as less than an equal, though you could and even I might not gainsay you. You are intelligent and generous and passionate, and you make beautiful things, and I have never met anyone like you. You have disrupted my mind, and I dislike it, for before my path was clear to me and my duty unclouded." She grimaces a little. "I spoke truth yesterday, when I said I did not wish it undone. But things would be much simpler if it were."
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timeasmymeasure
GOOD LUCK with the email trick!!!!
Date: 2019-01-24 11:49 am (UTC)Haleth shrugs a little again. "No, the pain was in realizing my own foolishness, for of course I was a fool. I learned before too many weeks had passed that his goal was to win his own way to the Chieftainship through me. Once I realized he held the knowledge against me, hoping to humiliate me and thus use his leverage that way. He failed, of course; I will not be used, as I made most clear."
She hesitates very briefly before continuing, some swift shadow crossing her face, but plunges on. "He paid dearly for all his presumptions. I have had little interest in such matters since then. Not because I cared for him, for even at the time I was more moved by curiosity and a sense of being flattered than by any real affection, though it shames me some to admit it. But I learned valuable lessons from the experience. A man may wed where he wills, but a woman will always risk becoming subservient, or being expected to be subservient. So I would not marry, for I will let none rule me, in truth or even only in seeming. And there has been no need for me to marry, nor any temptation, for there have been none who moved me to reconsider. But you--"
Haleth breaks off mid-sentence, stops, looks up at him with her focused, measuring gaze. "You are nothing I could have foreseen. You do not court with sweet promises but with plain speech. You would not seek to take the Haladin's leadership from me, for you have your own duties to tend; you understand my priorities and do not challenge them. You have never treated me as less than an equal, though you could and even I might not gainsay you. You are intelligent and generous and passionate, and you make beautiful things, and I have never met anyone like you. You have disrupted my mind, and I dislike it, for before my path was clear to me and my duty unclouded." She grimaces a little. "I spoke truth yesterday, when I said I did not wish it undone. But things would be much simpler if it were."