It is abruptly a more intense and intimate moment than he had intended, as she leans against his hand, as their gazes lock. He can feel the tenuousness of it, how easy it would be to say words there would be no going back from, for her to ask, for him to answer. He can almost see her wavering towards those words and then pulling back. For a breath, everything is poised as though on a knife's edge.
When she does speak, he just nods, removing his hand and returning it to rest on hers, looking down. Inwardly, he is chagrined. Blessed Valar, it is but minutes since he was chiding himself for pushing too far, for offering too much. And after such stories as she has been telling!
Instead he holds her hand, squeezes her fingers. That is more comfortable ground for them both now, and much less hazardous. "At the least, I would ask you remember what I said a few days ago, after another such discussion. That the victory is in the rebuilding afterwards. Whatever your own thoughts on your choices and actions, you still have allowed yourself but little time for healing. Grant yourself that small mercy first, before you pronounce judgement on your past self."
He laughs a little, ruefully. "And I shall attempt to do the same, since I clearly have not allowed myself enough time for healing either, as yesterday's misadventure shows."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2018-10-11 11:52 am (UTC)When she does speak, he just nods, removing his hand and returning it to rest on hers, looking down. Inwardly, he is chagrined. Blessed Valar, it is but minutes since he was chiding himself for pushing too far, for offering too much. And after such stories as she has been telling!
Instead he holds her hand, squeezes her fingers. That is more comfortable ground for them both now, and much less hazardous. "At the least, I would ask you remember what I said a few days ago, after another such discussion. That the victory is in the rebuilding afterwards. Whatever your own thoughts on your choices and actions, you still have allowed yourself but little time for healing. Grant yourself that small mercy first, before you pronounce judgement on your past self."
He laughs a little, ruefully. "And I shall attempt to do the same, since I clearly have not allowed myself enough time for healing either, as yesterday's misadventure shows."